Sept 08

"They are using half-people," Bela Karolyi, on China's women's gymnastic team in Beijing.
"One of them is even missing a tooth," Martha Karolyi, insinuating Chinese gymnast, Deng Linlin, is still losing her baby teeth.
"They are just fetus', and they'll get themselves on the front of their very own cereal box for 'Cheaties'." Jay Leno

Blog quotes:

"one with a missing tooth that most likely came not from gymnastics but from still LOSING HER BABY TEETH"
Katherine H posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 7:33 pm

"damn thats sad if 16 year olds gets owned by 12 year olds..."
AtrueAmerican posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 7:43 pm

"The two young ones look like they are 10-12 years old. No way they are 16."
jackripper777 posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 7:44 pm EDT

"those Chinese girls look like they are about 10 years old. The US girls had absolutely no chance of winning against these Chinese cheaters."
slideral posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 7:45 pm EDT

"no... they looked like 8yrs old"
tom c posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 7:50 pm EDT

"they in pre school, how did they get there birth certificates."
Will C posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 8:44 pm EDT

"China sucks; those girls look like babies....."
Glynn H posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 8:52 pm EDT

"Nuke em'."
scubabass27 posted on Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 9:43 pm EDT

_____

The age controversy for the Chinese gymnasts started with He Kexin, the high-flying uneven bars wizard. Then critics - that would be Americans - added Kexin's teammate, Deng Linlin, a couple days later. The next day they added Jiang Yuyuan. Then they added Yang Yilin, soon followed by Li Shanshan. If you are to believe the critics, the Chinese team was yanked straight out of the NICU.

It was difficult to get good information. While NBC did a good job with covering the Olympics, their commentators for gymnastics - Tim Daggett, Elfie Schlegal, Al Trautwig - were absurd spread a lot of suspicion. When Kexin was about to perform on the unevern bars, Trautwig, commented, "We've all been around, and I ask you: does she look 16?" Even as He Kexin was getting her gold medal put around her neck, Trautwig was asking Daggett, "Does He Kexin really think she won the gold?"
Show some respect, retards. Kexin's performance on the uneven bars was one of the highlights of the Olympics. Give the kid her props.

In a 'chinks all look alike moment', CNN did a report on Deng Linlin - the missing tooth wonder - but misidentified her by showing her teammate, Li Shanshan, instead. And in a Sports Illustrated blog, a background story ran about Jiang Yuyuan's family, but the story actually belonged to Cheng Fei. While both innocent mistakes, it just goes to show how unreliable media can be. And if you can't identify one Chinese gymnast from the next, then Deng Linlin is now Li Shanshan, and Jiang Yuyuan is now Cheng Fei's mother's daughter.

In defense of the claims of cheating, the Chinese Olympic officials have provided the IOC with athletes' passports, birth certificates, older passports, residency cards, and school records. The parents of the athletes have also been interviewed, and still, no evidence has been found that the women are underage. Oh, and btw, the girls on the team have one more thing to say!

Here are the numbers for female gymnasts at Beijing from Japan, China and USA. This shows how Asian conformation is different, and while the Chinese women may or may not be underage, we know their bodies are almost identical to the women on the Japanese gymnastic team, who's average age is 19.

Japanese Gymnastics Women's Team
Avg height in cm: 146.67
Avg weight in kg: 37.33
Avg age: 19

Chinese Gymnastics Women's Team
Avg height in cm: 144.33
Avg weight in kg: 35
Avg age: 16.8

USA Gymnastics Women's Team
Avg height in cm: 153.67
Avg weight in kg: 48.33
Avg age: 18.17

_____

Mig's unofficial medals:

Best-Looking Olympian:
Gold - Guo Jingjing
Silver - Guo Jingjing
Bronze - Guo Jingjing

(no contest)

click here ~ see Guo Jingjing's gallery ~

Doping Medals:
Gold - horses represented a third of all athletes who tested positive for drugs at the Beijing Olympics
Silver - the first athlete DQ'd for a positive drug test was a guy competing in pistol shooting
Third - Usian Bolt being tested not only for drugs, but also a 'special circumstances' test searching for evidence of simian DNA

Biggest Dumbass Medals:
Gold - Cuban tae kwon do athlete, Angel Matos, for kicking the ref in the face after being DQ'd
Silver - Jamaican sprinter, Usain Bolt, for not running through the line of the 100 metre sprint
Bronze - American men's & women's 100 metre 4x4 relay teams for dropping the batons

Worst Olympic Sport:
Gold - tennis
Silver - basketball
Bronze - walking

Most underrated Olympic Sport:
Gold - synchronized swimming
Silver - trampoline
Bronze - men's & women's indoor volleyball

Sports that should be added in London, 2012:
Gold - eating
Silver - dwarf tossing
Bronze - impalement arts (knife throwing at assistants)

_____

click here ~ see Mig's favourite images from the Beijing Olympics - gallery

_____

Imagine this: you buy an IPhone, take it out of its package, read the instructions, install the software, then take a look at how it works and discover there's a file on its memory card. So you open it up and find this picture! This girl is now famous for being "China's cutest factory girl". The image was found on a new IPhone in England.

_____

Last month the Canadian Press said, "International golfers rule LPGA, which is not a good thing..."
The LPGA listened and have announced that starting next year they will begin enforcing a new rule requiring LPGA members to speak English or risk suspension. The tour will require all its members to pass an oral evaluation of their English skills by 2009. Players who fail will be suspended until they meet the standard (whatever that is).

"I have friends who will turn the TV off or find other things to watch if Koreans are in the lead. A couple of weeks ago, there were seven or eight of them in the lead. . . ."
LPGA Hall of Famer Carol Mann

____

In other world news, John Moloney, the mayor of Mount Isa, a remote mining town in Queensland, Australia, recently suggested recruiting 'ugly women' for his town, to keep the miners happy. "I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa." Several women in town said there aren't many gems amongst the men in Mount Isa however, "We've got a saying up here that the odds are good, but the goods are odd," Anna Warick told the Brisbane Times.

_____

Poker - World Series Main Even Winner, Scotty Nguyen, who closed that tournament with the famous line, "You call this bet, it's all over, Baby," appearing absolutely hammered at the 2008 HORSE event at the WSOP. He later apologized for his behaviour at the tables, but did so while smashed out of his mind.

_____

Graphics - watch Mig starring in his own faked movie trailer for the film, Mirrors. (30 seconds long, and scary!)

_____

Thick As A Brick:

I was at Starbucks last week and overheard a conversation between two 'baristas'. One had just moved to Northern California 3 months ago from Seattle. He asked the other barista, "Does it snow here?" Does is snow here?! We're at sea level in California! You were raised in Seattle!, and you don't know whether or not it snows here?! That's like someone from Manitoba moving to Quebec and asking, "Do most people here speak Spanish?"
For the record, we swim, surf and golf in California! "Does it snow here..." lol. Our golf courses are used for golfing, not tobogganing!